Jokes Index - Home
TEXAS WEATHER
You know you're in Texas when:
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water...
You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off...
You can make instant sun tea...
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding
iron...
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly...
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to
drive your car...
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your
car window...
You notice the best parking place is determined
by shade instead of distance...
Hot water now comes out of both taps...
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not
one person is out on the streets...
You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
You break a sweat the instant you step outside...at 7:30
a.m. before work...
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car
or not having air conditioning...
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked
out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"...
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...
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TEXAS: It's so hot in Texas ......
The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of
the ground.
The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do
to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep
them from laying hard boiled eggs.
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TEXAS: It's so dry in Texas...
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
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A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain-
not so much for me, cuz I've seen it-
but for my 7 year old son.
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A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?"
A rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember
that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?" The
visitor replied, "Yes,
I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, we got 'bout two and a
half inches during that spell."
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