Jokes Index - Home
The Bible According to Kids
The cute statements below are said to have been written by actual students
and are genuine, authentic and not retouched or corrected.
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-In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating  the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
-Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
-Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
-Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
-Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
-The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. 
-Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
-Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
-Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread  which is bread without any ingredients.
-The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went  up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
-The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
-The fifth commandment is to humor thy father and mother.
-The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
-Moses died before he ever reached Canada.  Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
-The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand  still and he obeyed him.
-David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
-He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in  Biblical times.
-Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
-When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna  Carta.
-When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus  in the manager.
-Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
-St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
-Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others  before they do one to you.
-He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
-It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the  tombstone off the entrance.
-The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
-The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
-One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
-St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which  is another name for marriage.
-A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.